Settling down in the Netherlands and perhaps planning to start a family? Or have you got a mate who is expecting and you want to know more about how you can help? Here’s a brief introduction to babies and childbirth, Dutch style.

Baby showers

These, like many other customs from abroad, are making inroads into the Dutch approach to pregnancy and childbirth, especially in international communities. And giving — or receiving — a baby shower gift is a great way to share the excitement.

The birth

The Netherlands is famous — perhaps notorious — for its painkiller-free home births, but much of that is changing. In fact, just 20% of babies in the Netherlands are born at home, and most people opt for a hospital birth, usually in a day clinic (polikliniek), which means the new mother will be sent home a few hours afterwards.

The maternity nurse

When women in the Netherlands have a baby, a kraamverzorgster comes to their home for a week or so to help with the newborn. They provide help with breastfeeding, nappies, bathing — and pouring cups of coffee for the people who come to coo over the new arrival. A relatively new tradition is asking friends and family to send over a home cooked meal, so the new parents don’t have to.

Registering your child

By law, the arrival of a new baby has to be reported to officialdom within three days. Either a parent or someone else who witnessed the event is supposed to do this. The baby will then get a birth certificate and its very own BSN — burgerservicenummer — which, as you know, is the key to all things official in the Netherlands.

Naming your child

There are rules about what you can name a child, but they’ve become more relaxed. According to the government’s website, it shouldn’t be a swear word, a name that could open the child to ridicule, or a combination of lots of names.

Recent changes to legislation mean the child can now take both parents’ surnames, although if you’re not married and you’re both foreign, it may be complicated to get the dad’s name on the official documents. If in doubt, consult a lawyer.

Kraambezoek

Going on kraambezoek — the Dutch have a word for visiting a new mother and her baby — is an institution. Expect all sorts of people, including your boss, to drop round with a present for the baby. Will they go for the panda or something more quirky? Cuddly toys are timeless gifts that babies often form lasting bonds with, so be prepared for that purple dinosaur to become the favourite.

If you want to discourage visitors at certain times, you can include this on the birth announcement card, as in: “Alisha and Ben are resting between 2 pm and 4 pm.”

New baby traditions

Beschuit met muisjes are traditionally handed out at work by new dads. Take a Dutch crispbake, spread it with margarine and pour on the aniseed sprinkles — blue for a boy and pink for a girl. It’s very rude to refuse beschuit met muisjes when offered by the proud parent.

You can often spot households with a new baby by the stork in the garden or stuck to the window, and the pink and blue bunting.

Parental leave

The rules covering parental leave have become much more generous than they were. New mothers now get 16 weeks’ fully paid leave (usually starting four to six weeks before the birth), while partners are entitled to five days’ paid leave and a maximum of five weeks’ additional leave at a reduced rate after their child is born. Both parents are also entitled to ouderschapsverlof, or additional unpaid parental leave, until the child turns eight.

Papadag

Papadag is the term for the day of the week some fathers take off work to look after their children — often as part of the ouderschapsverlof allowance. Many Dutch households today divvy up the childcare by dad working four days and mum three, which means they only need to pay for daycare for two.