Dutch volleyball player Steven van de Velde, who has an English court conviction for child rape, broke down in tears during a press conference in The Hague on Tuesday, when questioned about his experiences at the Olympic games.

Van de Velde, who was 19 at the time of the offence with a 12-year-old girl, cried as he said he had considered not taking part. The publication of a photograph of his wife by a British tabloid “almost broke me”, he told reporters.

“I did something wrong 10 years ago and I have to live with that,” he said. “But hurting people close to me, whether Matthew Immers (his volleyball partner), my wife, my child… that is going too far. There was indeed a moment when I thought ‘is it worth it?’.”

Throughout the Olympics Van der Velde was followed by the world’s media and booed whenever on court since it emerged that in 2016 he had been convicted of child rape in England and had served over a year in jail for the crime. The offence took place when he was 19 and his victim was 12, which automatically qualifies as rape in English law.

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Despite widespread calls for him to be banned, the International Olympics Committee said it could not stop the Netherlands from sending an athlete who qualified in the usual way.

Dutch Olympic selectors also supported Van de Velde’s inclusion in their squad, noting that he has been participating in international beach volleyball tournaments since 2018.

Pointing out he had played in over 100 tournaments since his conviction, Van der Velde said he understood the commotion. “Can you give the stage to someone with such a past? It is a legitimate question,” he said. “I try not to take it too personally because I am not the person I was 10 years ago. I am married, I have a child, I have a good life.”

Van de Velde said he was grateful for the support he had received family, friends, from the volleyball association Nevobo and the Dutch Olympic committee NOC*NSF.  The duo were knocked out in the round of 16.

“I know it will play a role in the rest of my life. I have to accept that, because I made a mistake.” The tournament, he said, “was difficult and heavy, for Matthew, family, friends, the association. I was shielded. They were bearing the brunt of it and that was anything but nice.”