Children whose parents divorce are unhappier with their lives and suffer worse stress than those whose parents stay together, a survey for the children’s ombudsman has found.

Ombudsman Margrite Kalverboer urged couples to put their children’s interest first after the findings showed divorce had a greater impact on their well-being than previously assumed.

Every year, the parents of some 40,000 children split up, affecting their well-being and development.

An analysis of the last three two-yearly surveys among 7,500 children between eight and 18 shows that children whose parents split up gave their quality of life a lower score than their peers.

Some 1,917 of the respondents were children of divorced couples, 1,210 of whom parted amicably.

Children of divorced parents scored significantly lower on love and affection shown by their parents and experienced a less stable home environment. Kalverboer said those experiences would “influence their sense of security and future perspectives”.

“My parents divorced at the beginning of this year. That affected me a lot then and it still does. It really coloured the way I look at my future,” one 17-year old girl said.

Kalverboer said professionals and policymakers must also do more to help parents.

“We as grown-ups have long thought a divorce did not affect the well-being and development of children that much,” she said. “But they are letting us know that it does. They tell us they miss their parents, their presence, their support.

“The absence of a good relationship with parents can mark children for life. … You divorce your partner but as parents you share the responsibility for the well-being of your children.”