English native Arran Manu (33) realized a long-held dream and opened a coffee shop, gratitude espresso, with his Dutch partner Ilona in Amsterdam’s Rivierenbuurt just last month. Finding his former work in the financial sector unfulfilling, he set off on a world trip six years ago to figure out his next steps. He met Ilona in Bali, and eventually made his way back with her to Amsterdam, where he finds the people tolerant and has begrudgingly come to love the broodje—both as a word and lunch.

How did you end up in the Netherlands?
My sister actually used to live in Amsterdam, and I would come out regularly, and I loved it here. But at the end of 2018, I left my old job in consulting and went on a world trip. My first stop was Bali, which is where I met Ilona.

The funny thing is that when I was in Bali, my sister moved back to the UK. And I remember saying to Ilona that it’s really a shame because I love visiting Amsterdam and now I won’t be able to.

I carried on traveling for another four weeks, went back to England for Christmas and then came to Amsterdam in January to see Ilona again. You never know, right? It can be a holiday romance, it can be anything.

Let’s just say that was the end of my world trip. I didn’t get further than Amsterdam. At the end of 2019, I moved here.

How do you describe yourself – an expat, lovepat, immigrant, international etc?
I’m quite strong on this one. I’m an immigrant, like my grandparents were in England some 60, 70 years ago. They came from India, and they probably worked harder than I work now.

Just because I have the privilege of relocating to a country with a job or being able to get one, having a set up or being in an expat community, it’s the same as my grandparents. I’ve come to a new country to start a life and try to integrate, so that’s what I am, an immigrant.

But depending on who I talk to also influences how I class myself. If I speak to a British person, I am a British Indian who is also Dutch. If I speak to a Dutch person, I call myself a Britain who is also Dutch. If I speak to an expat, then I use every one of them! I’m a British Indian, but I’m also British and Dutch.

So I’m an immigrant, but slowly becoming part of the furniture, a native, if I can go that far.

How long do you plan to stay?
There’s no plan. There never was a plan and there still isn’t.

I have Dutch nationality now. And whilst I have the coffee shop, I guess that ties me down here for a bit longer. But since I was in my early 20s, I gave up trying to plan or wanting to plan. That’s how I live my life.  Until now, touch wood, it’s working out alright.

Do you speak Dutch and how did you learn?
Yes, you can ask Ilona how good! I hesitate to give myself credit. But I learned like a kid, and that was really important for me. We just watched TV. I used to go down to the second-hand store and buy Donald Duck comic books. It’s a really great way to learn, because I didn’t want to be translating.

I wanted to learn the language for the language. It was quite a hurdle, because there was stuff I could just not understand. I had no idea about grammar, but I really just picked it up organically. And then over time I would ask hundreds of questions.

I was addicted to quiz shows because they’re more accessible. They write the question on the screen, everything’s a bit slower, and then if it was a football question, or something about British royalty, I could work out what the question was from the context. And then at a certain point, I could understand quite a lot, but I had too much fear to speak.

And then I went to the nuns. It was fucking expensive, but it totally worked. It was now or never. I didn’t want to do it in 10 years, struggling that whole time and finally going. So, I made the investment, because I didn’t want to always stay in that safe zone of speaking English with everyone.

So I went, and I went extreme. I didn’t text anyone or use any English the whole week. I just wanted to go hard. By Friday, I was in pieces.

But the following Monday, Ilona’s parents came for dinner. And we did 80 percent of the dinner in Dutch. It was the first time ever. Before it was the other way around, 20 percent Dutch. And from there, I just kept going. And now I use Dutch 80 to 90 percent of the day. It just comes out. I never translate.

And it’s paying off, especially in the shop, where our customers are 95 percent Dutch people.

What’s your favourite Dutch thing?
I can give you one heavy and one light thing.

I think the heavy or serious one is the Dutch tolerance. I think it’s phenomenal. I come from the UK where there’s a lot more resistance, a lot more rules and judgment, and we’re heavily multicultural, way more than in the Netherlands. The UK is also way more integrated. But we are also way less tolerant than the Netherlands, which I find a really strange dichotomy—that even though it’s more interwoven, it’s less accepting.

Here, I walk into a pub or a café in a tiny town, and I don’t feel any judgement or negative feelings. I find that wonderful.

On the lighter side, I like the tjes the Dutch put on all words.

At first, I didn’t get it. I thought it was ridiculous. But now I’m a full advocate. It’s not cutesy, but just softens everything, and once you actually experience it, that’s when you really get what it’s about, and it’s just about softening the whole vibe.

So I think it’s cool and I love it. A koffietje, the borreltje. Stoeltje. Everything is a tje!

How Dutch have you become?
I think a lot, sadly. No, not sadly. But I used to really hate broodjes. For me, it wasn’t food. It wasn’t lunch. You would go to someone’s house and they’d serve bread and have all these ingredients out, like cheese and meat.

And now, through gritted teeth, I eat broodjes, and I do it kind of unconsciously. Which I guess means I’ve become quite Dutch.

Which three Dutch people (dead or alive) would you most like to meet?
I’m a huge football fan, I love football. Sadly, I support Manchester United, but we do have a Dutch manager, Erik ten Hag, who I’d like to meet but he’s not one of my three.

Johan Cruyff. He was a visionary. He was a game changer. I mean, he was beyond iconic. I’d like to understand the way he saw football. And the fact that I’ve learned Dutch means if I met him, he could actually speak to me in Dutch. His English I’m sure was good, and I know his Spanish was good, but he could just use his own words and I could understand them. That I find very cool.

The second one is Peter R de Vries, the journalist who was gunned down. I didn’t live here long enough to really understand his significance at the time. And I’m still learning about what kind of figure he was, how influential and respected, but it’s pretty clear. He was a real kind of accessible character, but also a real fighter, and a fighter for what’s right. I find that in this day and age, it’s really phenomenal, from what I understand, that he didn’t lean into his celebrity status—the Dutch generally don’t—but he just kept on going. It’s terrible what happened to him, but it was as a result of fighting for good causes.

And then the third one has to do with our house, which was built in the 1930s. I would love to meet the people who lived there then, almost a hundred years ago, when Amsterdam looks unrecognizable.

I mean the buildings are recognisable, but the people in them and their way of life must be unrecognisable. It’s really cool in the archives to see old photos. Even in the 1960s, there’s just cars everywhere. There’s hardly any bikes. So it’d be fascinating to know the way they lived their lives, if a couple of families lived in our apartment, which is a nice enough size for the two of us. We live our own lives, but really we’re just on the timeline of everything. There’s people before us, there’s people after us.

What’s your top tourist tip?
Don’t go to the centre of Amsterdam!

I think one of the hidden gems of Amsterdam, I want to say the whole Netherlands, is how close it is to the beach. I think this is highly underrated.

Thankfully, as a resident, I quite like that the tourists don’t really know about it. Because in 30 minutes, you can get to the beach. It’s just brilliant, and it doesn’t matter if the weather is a bit cold or grey. It’s still great.

The second tip is to go to the Amstel. We live so close to the river, and we like walking or cycling there. It is just magic. Within ten minutes, you’re completely out of the city, and it feels like you’re in the middle of nowhere. I find it unreal.

Tell us something surprising you’ve found out about the Netherlands
Oh! I found out something the other day, which I was very surprised about. There are only 2,000 old school windmills in the Netherlands. I really thought there’d be loads, especially because you see so many driving along the highway or along rivers.

And the funny thing is, when I met Ilona, she told me her dad lives in a windmill. And I was like, no way! But he’d been living there for 20 years. The first time we went, I just lost my mind. It was the living stereotype of being Dutch. So for me, I thought everyone’s dad had a windmill.

If you had just 24 hours left in the Netherlands, what would you do?
For sure, it would be in Amsterdam. I’d go on the water, because I think it’s magical, just to see  the city from the water and go through the canals. But I mean the outside canals. The ones inside the city centre are pretty and everything, but they’re busy, and there’s so many canals out here.

And then I’d enjoy a terrace. It’s so quintessential Amsterdam, and it’s just really wonderful.

And I’d end the day on our roof terrace. When I became Dutch, we had a silent disco party up there, and it was amazing, so I’d end the day like that. We can see the Rijksmuseum, and because we’re so low, you can see everything, including the A’DAM Tower in the north, the Westerkerk, the Okura hotel and the Philips building. We can also see the Zuidas, but we don’t look that way.

Oh, and I’d definitely have a slice of apple pie. It’s a must.

Arran was talking to Lauren Comiteau.

You can check out Arran’s coffee making skills at gratitude espresso.