Our regular columnist Molly Quell thinks the Dutch should stop importing back habits from the United States, like having a national breakdown over sex toys, and instead import some tasty regional delicacies.

Earlier this month, the Dutch media landscape was all a fuss over an advertisement from Hema. It was a perfect ophef – a silly thing that people get obsessed about for about 48 hours before forgetting it ever happened.

Dutch national treasure Hema advertised in a marketing flyer “Everything for you and your baby.” The text under the image of a cute baby read: “From pacifier to sex toy.” In the gift section, alongside kids’ toys, pantyhose and a tote bag, Hema included a vibrator.

People lost their entire minds.

Dutch Twitter had a meltdown. Media outlets had to discuss this link between sex toys and babies. Hema ultimately pulled the flyer and apologized for their “clumsy” ad.

Ironically, people did not get upset that just next to the vibrator, Hema advertised a bottle of cava. The Dutch statistics office doesn’t seem to keep track of death and destruction caused by vibrators, but it does track the numbers for alcohol.

In the Netherlands, between 26 and 43% of incidents of violence are fueled by alcohol. One-third of suicides occur after someone has been drinking. Hundreds of road deaths occur every year under the influence of alcohol.

Even if you don’t like sex toys, no one could argue vibrators do that much damage to society.

Prudish panic over pleasure is apparently the latest export from the United States. The Dutch already watch American movies and TV. Why not import some American culture?

Americans don’t teach their kids about sex. Sex ed in American schools, if it exists at all, focuses on the pitfalls of sex – STDs, pregnancy, purity culture. They don’t sell sex toys at Target and CVS.

All sorts of conservative and very often Christian groups in the US get up in arms at anything that normalize sex and makes it pleasurable.

Let’s not bring that across the ocean.

Instead, I propose we focus on importing good things from the United States. Namely: delicious regional delicacies.

Rather than freaking out about vibrators, let’s all enjoy a nice Philly cheesesteak, or hot chicken or Cincinnati chili. Rather than overreacting to advertisements, let’s make some gooey butter cake or bananas foster or chess pie.

America has the rest of the world in a cultural chokehold. Music, TV, books, films, all of the big, popular things come from the US.

But we don’t need to let that dominance extend to America’s emotional instability when faced with anything that could possibly be construed as bad.

Let’s just eat some Frito pie instead.