So the Netherlands has once again failed to qualify for the finals of the Eurovision Song Contest. This is fantastic news! We should all be cheering that Holland did not make the grade.

Eurovision is Europe at its most naff. Once actually worth something, then simply kitsch, the contest is now an unwieldy collection of horrible outfits, cheesy dance moves and blatant partisan voting.
Forget the songs. It’s all about politics. Twenty-eight countries took part in last night’s semi-final and nine of the 10 which got through were from eastern Europe. What a surprise.
The eastern and central European countries always vote for each other. Germany always votes for Turkey and Turkey always votes for Germany. Cyprus always votes for Greece and Greece always votes for Cyprus. The Netherlands votes for Belgium and Israel and nobody votes for the UK any more.
Why should On Top of the World want to compete with songs from Macedonia and Bulgaria?
Holland had its moment of Eurovision glory back in 1975 when it won with the divine Teach-In and Ding a dong – a song which included the classic lyrics ‘Ding a dong every hour, when you pick a flower.’
Forget the Finnish heavy metal and the Irish anthems. They don’t come any better than that. Sorry Edsilia, you didn’t stand a chance.